January 21, 2011

Stoner Girl Fashion: Fashion From Stoner Girl Laura Jane

"This article shows the Baked Life's femininne side. We do take issue with one thing though. Weed makes girls nonsexual? That's a serious buzz kill" - BakedLife.com

Being a girl stoner is fundamentally rebellious. It is a political act.

Smoking pot puts you directly in touch with everything women aren't supposed to be, even in Two Thousand and "Things Should Be Better Than This!" Nine. Smoking pot makes a person- in my/your/our case(s), a girl- turn thoughtful, jokey, hungry, utterly self-reliant, and entirely non-sexual. Just as everybody who has ever tried to "get stoned and make out" has learned the hard way- there is no such thing as "getting stoned and making out." There is only "getting stoned, trying to make out, and then losing interest because you'd rather talk about The Beatles."

I am very proud to be a Stoner Girl. To "The Man," we are "The Enemy," kind of. We are the coolest girls in the world, not to mention the hottest. We are like the "California Girls" of all the different types of girls who do all the different types of drugs. Sings dudes, "I wish they all could be Stoner Girls, like Laura Jane Faulds, and Anna Faris in Smiley Face." Serious! For true! That's what dudes sing. All of them. Non-stop!

Stoner Girl Chic is fun, because it is all about trickery. The guiding principle behind Stoner Girl Chic is: being crazy-lazy about dressing yourself, but figuring out a handful of zero-effort fashion maneuvers that effectively fool the world into thinking you kind of tried, or, are not stoned.

Stoner Girl Chic is a "scrappy/sexy mishmash." Stoned people are auto-sexy, because their fuzzy eyes turn heavy-lidded, which is sexy, and they laugh a lot, and laughing is sexy too. Stoned people are also auto-scrappy, because smoking pot motivates you to scrap it up, to scamper around and go on kicky excursions to eat candy in shopping carts, swing on swings, and shoplift Snickers bars from your local 7-11.

Since becoming a stoner a few weeks ago, I have noticed two major changes in the way I dress myself:

1) I don't give a shit about what I wear, and;

2) I've never looked better!

Typically, stoner dudes have the worst personal style in the world. They make frat boys seem like Ultimate Fashion Champions. Red dreads; goatees with Fimo beads in them; cargo pants embellished with pictures of aliens; those nasty burlap World Famous messenger bags. Hacky sacks do not an accessory make, my brothers!

But we, my Stoner Girl compatriots, do not have to look as gross as our male counterparts! Let's be mad adorable, wear ratty t-shirts as if they were ball gowns, have our brains blown out by "When My Mind Is Not Live" by the Status Quo, roll joints of medicinal quality, and be the hottest chicks this world ever knew!

If you are new to Girl Stonerdom, and are not quite sure how to adapt your old non-stoner wardrobe to the needs of your new stoner self, this simple, easy-to-follow ten-step guide to becoming the chic-est Stoner Girl on the planet is dedicated to YOU!

To See All the Tips Go To nogoodforme.filmstills.org

Contact: Bakedlife@gmail.com

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