October 23, 2009

Ms. Sativa - Stoner Teachers: Weed is normal, People are weird

"Ms. Sativa" is a feature of Baked Life. It's a female teacher's perspectives on the issues and topics surrounding modern marijuana use and everyday life. Feedback to ms.sativa@hotmail.com.

I just recently graduated from university, and now that I'm entering the so-called “Real World”, I've realized that my pot smoking ways aren't as appreciated in my field as I would like. I've been perusing the Internet and reading articles about teachers getting arrested for possession, selling, and growing weed, which not only concerns me, but scares the hell out of me. I've been smoking pot since about the age of 19 (I was a late bloomer), and no one has really ever questioned it, besides a boyfriend or two and my parents. I've been very open about it because I've never really considered smoking pot as wrong.

However, now that I am entering into the professional world of teaching, I have to hide my personal choices as if I'm committing some crime. I suppose by Canadian standards I am, but what is a person to do when their personal morals don't line up with those of the country they live in? Is it not within my rights to choose to smoke pot, just as much as it someone elses' rights to chose to smoke cigarettes? I suppose that's a completely different topic for another time.

I looked through and read about 40 different articles (almost all exclusively from the USA) and I found one commonality between these pot smoking teachers – they were almost all idiots, which made me feel a little better about this whole situation because I'm NOT an idiot...most of the time. However, the level of stupidity that seems to run rampant among these teachers is not a height that I personally belong to, thank God. Their sad attempts at concealing their habits were so completely flawed that I can barely comprehend their trains of thought.

Teachers, due to the sensitivity of their profession, obviously need to keep their pot smoking under wraps so a logical step in doing so might be to grow their own weed. That way, there are no comings and goings of dealers, so it really seems to be a great idea to safeguard yourself against any outside trouble, right? That makes sense to me, and I've certainly considered the idea, but I'm not convinced its the best one.

One teacher in California was arrested for growing in his house, possessing over 25 lbs of weed plus assault with a deadly weapon and attacking his neighbour. Not exactly the picture of teacher greatness, is he? However, I somehow doubt that weed was his biggest issue. A teacher in Florida thought it would be smart to grow 66 plants in a storage unit, sell from it, and hope that no one would notice.... Right. In California, another had over 550 plants on his farm, worth over a million dollars. Does anyone else see the trend? Lesson number one for teachers – don't get carried away. Don't start a damn grow-op if you want to keep your stoner ways on the DL.

Another thing I noticed with these not-so-smart teachers is that they are selling weed and living in drug houses. There isn't much I can say to defend a teacher if they are dumb enough to live in a drug house and sell any array of drugs. A teacher from Milwakee walked into a drug charge when he called cops to file a complaint that $1,500 was stolen from his house – innocent enough. But when police investigated they found out it was in fact drugs that were stolen and found cocaine, mushrooms, and weed at this teachers house. You call the cops to file a complaint that someone stole a grand worth of drugs from you and not find out? I honestly cannot understand what this guy was thinking.

The worst reports I read were ones where teachers were selling to minors and students. Are you kidding me? What kind of an educator thinks its a good idea to let kids smoke pot and/or sell weed to them? Where are these teachers professional boundaries? The next educator I read about could very well be a candidate for “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?” (obviously not). She thought trading alcohol, weed, and zoloft to her students in exchange for household chores would be a good idea. Really? Lesson number two for teachers – don't sell pot. Just don't do it, its not worth your career to get caught. It's a lot easier to make money teaching kids than it is to be Bubba's bitch in jail because no one likes people who sells drugs to kids.

Finally, my favorite, is just complete and utter stupidity. These teachers are the ones who make the most ludicrous and mind-boggling choices possible. The Teacher of the Year award goes to the teacher bringing weed to school in her car along with students' homework to grade. Needless to say, someone caught on and when searched, police found not only weed but 25 packets of HEROIN in her car. Heroin? Seriously, com'on!? This is not someone who simply likes to smoke pot in the privacy of her home. This is someone who is hustling heroin, and I think the problems lies therein much more than with her pot smoking. I would also say that committing four different crimes at once ups your chances of getting caught, doesn't it? Getting drunk, speeding, and carrying cocaine, mushrooms and weed is probably not what communities are looking for in a teacher, and some dumbass teacher in Florida thought that would be a good idea. Or how about the teacher who decided to get stoned in the parking lot of her school and then pass out? She was just asking to get caught. Most importantly, a teacher should NEVER bring their weed to school.

I've read countless stories of teachers bringing their stash with them and accidentally advertising it to their students and colleagues. Another gem was the teacher who didn't write her dealers number down correctly and texted a local cop looking for green. Thats some serious bad luck if you ask me. Lesson number three – be smart about your stupid choices. If you're going to smoke pot let that be your own choice because whether you think its stupid or not, there are people who will come after you because its illegal in this country. So keep it at home.

Despite most of these articles being about teachers doing stupid shit to get arrested, there was one that made me a little uneasy. A teacher and her husband weren't selling, they weren't distributing, they were just growing plants in their basement. Someone found out and tipped the cops. THAT is what scares me. I'm a trusting person (some would say naive), and I honestly don't think that anyone would wish me trouble, so its situations like that that scare me.

Fortunately, I was hard pressed to find articles that were about Canadian teachers getting charged with possession, so it might not be as serious of a situation here as it is in the States. Or maybe our teachers are smarter, which of course I'm much more inclined to believe (jk!!). All in all, it didn't really seem that teachers who buy a quarter of weed are getting fired and charged with possession.

Most of these teachers were not just wanting to hang out and smoke a jay after a tough day in the classroom. A lot of them were part of grow ops, hustling hard drugs, and including their students in their pot-smoking habits. All of which inevitably led to their getting caught, at least that what it seems like. I feel a lot better about it now that I've actually looked into the details of these teachers' arrests. As long as I don't magically become brain dead one day, then I think I might be able to embrace being both a teacher and a pot enthusiast without ever having to compromise my position as a professional. So here's to hoping.

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