April 19, 2009

Stoner Short Stories

I snagged the story from www.smokingwithstyle.com

My footsteps carried me across the great hall, where without thinking, I automatically sat down and pulled out a notebook to take notes in. After class, I went home and began doing my homework as usual, under the ever-watchful eye of my father. Little did I know that later that day, my entire life was about to change. Later that evening my parents left the house and my friends came over...

"So," came the prodding voice of my friend's girlfriend, "I want to know why you won't smoke."

I replied with a simple, "I smoke." She shook her head in disagreement, as I obviously misunderstood her.

"No, I mean WEED."

"Uh, because I like my brain cells?"

"But I mean, you won't even try it just once?"

This was where my journey began. I wasn't really sure what choice to make. Do I say "Yes"? Do I say "No"? After all, it's only one time, what could it hurt? What if I get hooked on it though? However, I HAVE always said things shouldn't be judged without at least giving them a try first. So I made the decision that gave me more immediate, quick-to-please options.

"Yeah, sure. I'll try it at least once." The knowing smiles on all my friends' faces was a little unnerving, yet calming at the same time. A slow ten minutes had passed by before someone finally shouted, "OKAY, WE'RE READY!"

They let me have what they called "greens" or "first hit". I took in a puff of smoke and swallowed, not really knowing what to... my lungs were BURNING! For the first few seconds they held that smoky cloud, the only thing on my mind was... WATER!! I. NEED. WATER!!! My coughing could be heard throughout the neighborhood, I was certain. Finally someone handed me something to drink and the pain subsided.

"So," I said as nonchalantly as possible, "how long is this supposed to take before I feel anything?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I couldn't remember what I'd said, or how long ago I'd said it. Next to immediately, everyone around me seemed as if they were approaching me from a dream.

"Dude, you all right?" asked one of my friends with a genuinely concerned look on his face. Damn he looked funny! His eyebrows were all scrunched up together into the bridge of his nose, and the wide eyes he had pointing towards me were absolutely hilarious. I couldn't keep myself from laughing. I must have sat there for weeks laughing at his face while he looked back at me seriously wondering if I was okay or not.

"Yo man, this stuff's the SHIIIIT..." I said, in what was easily the goofiest voice I'd ever used. "Oh, man! You know what'd be GREAT right now? Like, some noodles! With like, a creamy garlic sauce? Oooh, or popcorn! No! No, I got it. Ok, you guys ready for this? Kettle. Corn. Yeah man, kettle corn!"

From miles away I heard one of my friends chuckling. "Heh, heh litte bro's

got the munchies, yo."

"Hells yeah, I got the munchies! Food sounds fuckin' great right now!"

After I'd had a sufficient amount of pasta, popcorn, and various TV dinners, I found myself completely exhausted. My parents weren't home yet, but my friends had all already left at some point during my ass getting kicked at Magic: The Gathering. Or maybe they left during that Wizard of Oz thing they were talking about, I wasn't really sure. All I was sure about was that I was wiped. I went to bed, and had the best night's sleep I'd ever had in my life.

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