December 29, 2008

Best Video Games to Play When Stoned

If you've ever played video games when high, then you know that's the most enjoyable experience anyone could have in the comfort of their own home (excluding sexual acts). Anyway Here's a list of games I found to be particularly awesome to play after a few bowls.

Geometry Wars: You star as a little ship made out of light. You fly around destroying your enemies, who are also made of light, and combust in a fireworks like display when destroyed. The colors and explosions never stop. Soon your weapons become so powerful they ripple and bend the very fabric of time and space. The journey is amazing as well as challenging, but nothing your weed heightened awareness can't cope with. It's cheap and it will suck you so far in you'll never want to escape.

Grand Theft Auto IV: Everyone knows this game is amazing. When your high however, it's unbelievable. When I saw the game for the first time I had just smoked two enormous bowls, I stared at the screen and said, "It's so real". Me and my friend spent the rest of the evening smoking and exploring the city's possibilities. The strip club, random street murders, police chases, the whole lot.

Starcraft: This one is a classic, but in cannabis it shall be reborn. There is nothing like building an army camp defending it and attacking your enemies, especially when those enemies are alien scum (although I do prefer to play as the alien scum). What weed changes about this game is how seriously you take the lives of your soldiers.
If your anything like me you might even give up on the fighting aspect and instead try to build up an impenetrable fortress in which you and your soldiers try to hide until either the enemy breaks in or they quit from frustration. I lost most of my games but while my people lived they lived in luxury and leisure.

Mirror's Edge: You are Faith, whose job as a runner has her leaping over the tops of buildings and trains, fleeing guards, and occasionally taking them down. Did I mention your doing all of this in first person to a soundtrack packed with exquisite ambient tracks.
When faith pants and her vision blurs it's impossible not believe that you really are her. "But what if your a guy", says the sarcastic reader... ha ha ha, stfu. The game's design is smooth, and the controls seamless. You don't need marijuana to feel like your in the game, but if you have, it'll make it all the better.

Tetris: I don't think I really need to explain why this'll be fun, it just will be. However, this game may lead you or any other stoner in the room to believe themselves to be philosophical genius. A stoned friend of mine actually said this to me once, "Life is Tetris, we're all just four blocks, we may be different colors and shapes, but we need each other to be complete". Actually now that I think about it he is a genius.

Halo 3: This is the first game I ever played while high, and it's the reason I've tried it with so many other titles. I sucked until I began smoking weed before I played, and then after a few bowls I became one of the best. No lie. Although I have to admit, once I smoked a little too much and ended up hiding behind a sand dune for an entire match because I was seriously afraid of getting shot.

Forza Motor Sports 3: This my favorite racing game. It may not be the best, but who cares. The first time you get into a custom painted Porche and drive off into the virtual sunset with trance music in the background, all life's worries melt away.

Left 4 Dead: If your the kid who cried while watching I Know What You Did Last Summer at the slumber party this isn't the game for you. I've heard people actually scream while playing this. Alright... I was the one who screamed, but this is some scary shit, and I was baked so the zombies looked real. Wouldn't you scream if zombies were in your room.

Rock Band / Guitar Hero: Both of these games are awesome, they're also pretty much the same. If you smoke some bud before playing, these games will help you forget that you actually have no musical talent. This game combines an old stoner past time, listening to music, with a sort of interactive music video with bright flashing lights. What could be better.

More: Entertainment


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